Do not urinate here !

You can fall in one of the three categories after reading the title of this article :

1) I did not come here to urinate.

2) Oh thanks for reminding me !

3) Thanks for reminding me but I do not care.


" Do not urinate here  !" is a graffiti which you would find on walls across the length and breath of India. Abandoned houses , empty plots in busy city markets are ideal locations for people wanting
to release themselves. Many people caught in the act were interviewed and these turned out to be the favourite replies :  lack of toilets , the urge to save money as most of the city public toilets will make you
lighter by a rupee or two if not more, I'll need to walk a couple of kilometres and that's not an option, I found somebody doing this and I was under peer pressure , I was sucked into this act as I wanted to show in this democratic
country I have the right to do what I want...

Leaving scent marks is a habit humans acquired possibly from animals. Almost all four legged carnivorous animals leave scent marks to mark their territory. Marking somebody's else territory as yours will incur some resistance for sure.

When nothing works we look to the Gods. Don't we ?

Many of the owners of these houses and plots have tried various methods to shoo away elements who release uric acid around their walls. Pictures of Gods on the walls seem to be the most ideal if you have to stir the conscience of a human being.

An owner shared that by pasting pictures of Gods he could deter some but appears some homo-sapiens have chosen to ignore the Gods as well.



Your thoughts ?

Wanted tall ,dark ,handsome , smart , homely , single , earning in 10+ figures .....

I am straight and I might not fit in most or all of the above .. The matrimonial page has moved from paper to internet . Shaadi.com, Marry.com , Marry even if you don't like etc are a great hit but the psyche of the male/female in the Indian subcontinent has hardly seen a shift.

If you have not visited the matrimonial page yet please do so (even if you don't qualify - how does that matter ?) since its a got barometer test to find how things in general are moving forward and what's the _mood_ of the people looking for prospective partners !

"Tall" , "dark", "handsome" , "smart" , "homely" are relative terms . Even boys with 5 feet height can boast (or may I say have the right to boast) of a "good" height. In the Indian context it might be true. And then till date there has been no agency which could do a background check on these attributes and muster courage to propose : please do not claim to be "tall" if you are not "tall" ..
This can be a good business venture though , any takers ?

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder so lets not debate on "smartnesssss" !


"Homely" is another word which needs closer scrutiny . This generally applies to the ladies .It might refer to somebody who is willing to stay at home and never come out ? or may be sometimes or ...

Money is honey (I mean it honey) and so this surely needs to be there in matrimony advertisements. How many zeroes would you like ? Choose this with care and if the number of zeroes are making you feel embarrassed then add your fathers salary + brothers + ... (It's the family income anyways ?) ...
Appending Dollars or India Rupees can make a sea change so ..

How about this : Wanted a Tall , dark , handsome , smart , green card holder ,owns a Mercedes back in the Bay area , traveling to India in June and .... (what more hints do you need duffer ?)

Caste statistics play a part as well but then this hardly provides the spice I'm looking to scribble an article on and I've safely omitted politics here .


This has been my favorite over years : Required a homely , very very (the two words are there for purpose) beautiful , convent educated , mix of modern and traditional values ( take that ! ) girl ....

"Convent" is a place where Nuns stay (Oxfords official definition) and so "homely" might have some connection there but I could not establish one . The rest is self explanatory ....

LIFT

A lift is something which "lifts" it's occupants . This is no official definition but in all cases it does deliver the message.

I'm an avid traveler and a couple of things I've found common in "lifts" is that even the biggest chatter boxes go silent once they are in a "lift". May be it's too small a place and others can hear you well or may be not ?

Lifts come in a gamut of sizes , some are technically and algorithmically blessed while others struggle each time a button is pressed (it surely hurts to do things against gravity anyways.).

If you're a lift from the upper middle class society then you'll be neat , sparkling , might have music ,emergency power backup and scores of buttons to keep the occupants guessing ... The doors will open automatically and if some of your body tries obstructing the doors (knowingly or unknowingly) the lift will be happy to give you more chances to live longer.

The lifts from the weaker section of the society can only "lift" you . Opening and closing of the doors is left to the occupants and if your hand or leg gets stuck in the door you might as well imagine what would become of it/you.

These lifts generally only operate(or like to operate) on the power supplied by the Public sector electric companies and stories of how somebody spent hours in the lift before aid arrived is not news.

What better place to display art than on the doors /walls of a lift where the occupants will be forced to view them . Love , sex and there is nothing else anyways ! Some can leave you embarrassed and other pictorial drawings are not worth a mention.

The "lift" companies too grew smarter and came up with steel walls which do not support any kind of art form on them . But then the occupants too grew immune and the latest art I found on one such lift was done using a screw driver (beat that ?)

"Lift" is a good place to socialize as well , people have less time and it sometimes helps to terminate a talk in less time (hope you understand :) )

Not all prefer to be "Lifted" though . The calorie conscious prefer the stairs and the "Lift" faces competition. So the next you step in a "lift" remember to look around and ...

And the hill reclaimed it back !!

Not so long ago when I moved into Bangalore I searched for a place which had no roads , which was not plagued by concrete structures , which was not polluted , which had no traffic lights , which ...
I ended up buying a flat in a place which had some roads , which had a hillock on one side , which had some fresh air , which was surrounded by some traffic lights and which ...


One fine day I was greeted in the morning by the roaring noise of a dozen earth movers all trying to climb a hillock .

I ran up the hill to do my bit . I inquired here and there and whoever I could speak to but nobody knew what was going on . May be nobody was interested. Some people were inspired by the fuel guzzling monsters which ripped the trees and plants and shrubs and grass and my heart ...

It was painful to see a green hill turn into a barren landscape .

Every day I saw the hill crumbling down , green turning to brown and the birds stopped coming , the wind stopped blowing , the trees lost their balance , even the stones found no reason to stay there , the mighty hill was about to be brought to its knees ...


But as they say , you can break a mountain but not its spirit . The stock market crashed , some banks went bust , some CEO's lost their jobs , some construction companies failed and in this commotion the earth movers just slipped into some dark corner.


In a weeks time the grass showed up again , tree saplings started to spread their roots, the winds were eager to reclaim their territory , the birds were happy to return to their nests and yes the hill reclaimed it back !!

The "real" Tiger !

Some married and with their wives , some married and without their wives and some still looking out for brides hurdled into my Safari on a late Saturday morning . Some of them were nature enthusiasts or thought so , some of them were confused as to why would one want to waste two days and that too a weekend looking out for animals when nearly all (almost ) are easily viewable in the zoo's !!

So we had these two different school of thoughts which never could agree with each others view point . So why the heck were all of them together ? I'll leave it to you to prod over it .

Loud music and pleasant air greeted us and soon the whole group agreed that getting out of ones house is a good idea – most of the times .

“Where would we stay ? “ - if you start hearing this often then it is time to zero down on a hotel /motel and so the whole group tried making fanatic telephone calls to the hotels we knew about and after spending almost three hours on it we finally managed to grab a farm house very close to Kabini – we couldn't have asked for more.

The first night was spent ogling at some weird tribal dance and one could easily make out that tribal in India do not dress the way these cartoons were dressed . Good food and a very clear sky helped us getting over the dance .

If you are tired and have a bed in front of you – you get it right – you crash in/on it . “Next day excitement “ never allows me to have an eight hours sleep – I always get up a few hours early and so I was up by 3 am and made sure I kicked everybody out of their beds before 4:30 . By 6 am we were probably the first to reach the wildlife park gates .

Which is the most enigmatic of all the cats – the tiger !! ( no cookies for getting it right) and wonder how you feel if that is the first thing you see as soon as you enter a park . So we all came very very close to sighting a tiger and here is all what transpired .

Even before we could enter the park gates one of the occupants in the front seat jumped with joy and proclaimed that he saw a tiger and since in our country news spreads fast all the occupants in the car including the driver (that was me) were eager to grab this opportunity of siting a real wild tiger .

Some suggested to keep the windows up since the tiger might be hungry in the morning and one of us or may be two could be devoured up within minutes . And then an anonymous hand gestured to keep quiet since the tiger was lying down and that making noise would spoil the party .

After a whole lot of twenty minutes were spent in assuring ourself that the creature which was lying down was a tiger we decided to move on and before I could crank up the engine again we some few more cars behind us all trying their luck with the tiger .

Majority of us did not see anything and since a few of the travelers inside the car were very positive we all were trying to convince ourselves with the fact that we did see something – and then the news broke out that the tiger was fake .

What do you do now – laugh and try pulling legs .

“Who saw the tail – nobody , who spotted the face – no replies , who spotted the ears – atleast I did not “ , a minute before almost everybody saw some part of the tiger – views change fast when it comes to humans .

Not a bad way to start the trip – a fake tiger !! The next in line were deer , yes real deer , we all made sure we saw a deer and that it was nothing but a deer and then when everybody swore that it was a indeed a dear we all could rest in peace .

Wild peafowl , peahen (why are hens never as attractive as their male counterparts ?) , wild boar , Indian Bison , barking deer , tusker and a variety of birds greeted us as we went around .

The giant Malabar Squirrel is something which caught our fancy for reasons I'm gonna jot down now .One it is only found in and around the Wester Ghats in this Universe , two it is a beautiful animal and three it is a highly endangered species hunted down for its flesh and fur .

We shot many of them – only in our cameras and wished them a long life and a bright future ahead. They really need all your wishes to survive in their ever dwindling forest cover .

And then it was the tiger , not again !! Indeed three of them and since a tiger generally is a solitary creature we guessed that we saw a tigress and two of her cubs. This was the first time I forgot(and I swear the last time) taking out my camera – I was awestruck. A tiger is a charming animal , it is majestic and if you see one in the wild then feel lucky since only a few hundred remain now .

Six individuals , five cameras and three tigers – not a single shot and I am sure you can try understanding the gravity of the situation we were in .

Until you see a “real “ tiger yourself in the wild keep humming these lines from William Blake's poem :

Tiger, Tiger, burning bright
In the forest of the night,
What immortal hand ....

Music and the Gods !

Music seems to connect everybody and when humans wish to reach out to the Gods there is no other better way to do this - sing .

I've had the privilege of witnessing this devotion this Ganesh Chaturthi in Bangalore . I didn't have to venture too far since the loud speakers are just a few hundred meters aways .

I tried verifying the build and make of these loud speakers but in vain since they have crossed so many hands that no numbers are visible . The only thing which makes them worthy is how loud they can play a song , the sound quality here does not matter (so if you are a Bose fan you know you are looking at the wrong place).

From morning 7 am to night 11 pm these songs fill the atmosphere , the earth , the wind , the water and more importantly your ears . Right from classical to the Tollywood and Bollywood numbers(this is to make sure we are not far behind Hollywood) everything is all mixed up in a way which can force a DJ to think and admit : all these years I've been wasting my life at the Pubs .

The Gods for sure have to listen , after all that's the loudest we can sing for them . A little more decibel will make the rest of us loose our ear drums .

The devotees throng , dressed up for the occasion . Some where I feel it still has to do with the girls . Yeah hold on if you got offended and feel tempted to chip in .

Almost all the organizers line up in devotion around the God ogling at who ever passes by or tries offering something to the deity . In the night we have a grand party where female artists sing and dance to the numbers .

The men get drunk , the party continues , the crowd keeps pouring , the music continues , the stars and the moon gaze in excitement as if to say - the Gods are watching , let the music play !!

The Car , the Plastic and the Gods !!

This is by an Indian , and can only be understood by an Indian , the others can give it a try and see if this makes sense .

Buying a car in this part of the world is a big affair . Big enough for your family , your uncles family , your friends , and many more unknown relations to participate . The more a middle class family you belong to the more advices you “ must “ seek .

On the delivery day the car rolls out with plastic sheets covering the seats . Dare you try removing them since they serve two purposes if not three -

a) The neighbors have no other way to figure out if you bought a new car or a pre-owned car . Now there is too much at stake.

b) The seat covers have to last a life time so the only way is to use the omni present plastic sheets which makes sure nothing gets dirty .

We Indians are very particular when it comes to hygiene and cleanliness , we just cannot stand any dirt be it on the roads or in the car .

Before one can even fire the engines its important to make sure that the Gods have been given their rightful place and see how pretty do they look sitting/hanging (which ever way you feel more religious) .

For the long life of the car you must pay a visit to the temple of your choice , since its important that the owner and the owned both keep fit .

The Car , the Plastic and the Gods are here to stay , aren't they ?

Fasten your seat belt and drive safely !

“Types “ After Marriage !!

I just couldn't stop writing on this topic . Each time I see one of my friends getting married I feel that this could be the very last time I might be meeting him .

1) The Majority “type” :

Life for these stop post marriage , they stop dreaming , seclude themselves from the World and go into an oblivion from where even God hates to pull them back.

You send an email – (and if you are an emotional type you might not want to read further ) - you will obviously not get a reply .

Try calling them up and ask them “How are you doing “ , pat comes the reply “Very Good” . Nothing wrong in it , I am not jealous :)

The goal (goals) for this “type” is to save money , rear kids , send kids to the best schools in town , dab ones spouse with gold and buy a car and drive it on weekends to the nearest Paani-Puri shop . After all the car needs attention too.

2) The not so famous “type” :

The numbers for this type is increasing at a rapid pace . Both the partners work , they hug each other before leaving to office and then meetup again in the night for things which might surprise you . Food , think no more !!

Money comes hard , one needs to work and by the time one discovers that he/she has enough the hair on ones head are either all grey or may be no more .

Did you say kids ? Who has the time you fool .

3) The special “type” :

These enjoy life to the fullest , they earn less and spend more and are found mostly on a hill top or by the sea shore .

They change cars each year and eat a kings dinner every night .

This “type” is extinct . Heard about Do-Do's , a flightless bird which vanished a century ago ?

Some articles do not need an ending , they just end , they are of a different “type” .

The Leftover Agony !

There (somewhere ,probably here) exists a league of people who just cannot resist but try to squeeze out the last drop of the juice from a tetra pack or for that matter the last atoms of the dental cream from a toothpaste tube .

I think I too am part of this club.

If you'r my friend read on and if you belong to an elite group you can still join us with no sense of guilt because after all ... Am I stretching it too far ?

A tetra pack in your hand and a normal 250 ml juice pack contains very little juice . Anybody who does not agree ? On top of that the juice finishes very fast and it leaves the buyer in a state of an incompleteness . If you shake the tetra pack you'll hear a noise from the left over juice inside and the noise gives an intuition that the volume is good if not humongous (after all what the hell you want from a 250 ml pack)

No matter what you do that residual just refuses to come out . I've tried completely turning the pack upside down , squeezing it to an extent where vacuum starts building inside the pack , infact I've tried a number of other torturous things over these juice packs but they simply wont budge.

The juice at times has spilled over my face because of my endeavors but I insist on fighting it out .

If you are alone in your home or any home (the idea is to have a place where you do not have spying eyes of your fellow countrymen) you can try ripping the pack with a knife . This helps – I must tell you .

The problem arises when you are in a place where if you try all this you are looked down upon and then with a deep sense of anguish the only solution is to throw that juice pack with still a good amount of stuff in it.

I've experienced the same frustration while eating an ice-cream and then when its time to discard the ice-cream wrapper you observe quite a bit of the ice-cream sticking and then you try to look around and see if anybody else is also feeling the urge to lick the wrapper and when you fail to find company you annoyingly throw it away . We are living in bad times !!

Am trying to figure out if this is due to a middle class upbringing or bad table manners or just my animal instincts or am I normal when I have this “Leftover Agony” !! ?

This is an article without a heading . And why should it have one ?

It's an article without a theme , without a direction , its fuzzy and it reflects the mood of today's World. You might not agree and thats perfectly fine.

Saddam is hanged , some rejoice , some cry , some are amused as to why the others are over reacting , some take to the streets , some pelt stones on a tourist bus (all the passengers happen to be Indians) – in the name of Saddam. While all this was going we hear Bush Junior expressing his opinion that he would have liked Saddam's execution to be more dramatic.

For an average Indian it really does not matter what the Iraqis think about Bush and vice-versa . We have so many things to worry about ourselves.

Nithari village in Noida is making news. The latest on this front is that the butchers have disclosed that they enjoyed eating human flesh – as gory as it can get .

Vegetables , fruits , animal , fishes and now humans – I guess there is nothing else left . We have few options !!

While the Indian Politicians were trying hard to draw first blood on this the clock struck 12 and it was New Year and guess what the the first headlines read : Couple molested in Mumbai at the famous Gateway of India . The hooligans took away the girls skirt as a memento . Quite auspicious !!

The Mumbai police says it has arrested some rowdies but is waiting for the couple to lodge a complaint . So we do have times when the police has to wait too. If you want to know more then you are looking at the wrong place .

The ULFA( United Liberation Front of Assam) has shot down 48 daily wage laborers (all from Bihar)and the Assam State Government has requested the ULFA to restrain from killing . Now thats a news indeed .

Dogs have been on a killing spree as well. In Bangalore some rowdy dogs attacked a small girl and she succumbed to injuries before she could be taken to a hospital. Some enlightened Politicians have suggested to start eating the dogs – this would help culling the population and we have some rich source of protein as well on the menu !!

Happy New Year !!

The Gang – Kabila !

The Italian have the Mafia , Indians have the Politicians and the rest does not matter . So if your grey cells feel tantalized enough to discover more about “The Gang” - read on .

A word of caution : A few things might appear derogatory , uncivilized Or unwarranted .Since its all about perception the weak hearted are suggested to take medical advice if they still feel the urge to continue.

It all started in the Summer of 1997 . The norther plains especially the region close to Rajasthan (and the state itself) is baked by the Sun God. Each year hundreds if not thousands die – courtesy : Sun stroke .

An Engineering college on the outskirts of Agra . It was here when a few guys became friends (Nothing unusual ) . These were an unpolished lot in their early twenties .

A normal college day :

X : Did you hear our senior got beaten up .

Y : Yeah I know I was there too .

Z : So what did you do .

X: I ran away !! (pretty smart)

To give you a taste of the local dialect :

A : Ka hairo hai ( What'z up buddy ? )

B : Kachu na hairo ( Nothing)

Hindi in its crudest form .

The campus and the Agra city was connected by a broken road , the distance was no more than 15 kms but the journey took approximately one and a half hours ,if I do not exaggerate . The Bus broke down often and you might well imagine the nightmare since only two buses plied the route.

The better way to travel was to use the Train . The train tracks criss-crossed the college campus and the college was famous(did I hear ill famous ?) for making the Train stop where ever and when ever they desired . So it was more of a private train and the most recommended way to travel was on the train top – after all Kings cannot share seats with the Commoners.

The college had a huge campus , a giant foot ball field , a cricket ground , a hockey , basketball, volleyball ........., gardens , orchards , a mini jungle ... It was mind blowing .

The only thing it didn't have was discipline . It was something nobody had heard about in that region for quite sometime.

In a hostile territory these guys joined hands to do something which nobody attempted before. They formed a “Gang “. !! People named it “Kabila” . It was just the beginning .

Gang's are supposed to harass , to loot , to kill, to murder and may be a few more things which I better omit . Kabila was different – it did nothing of this sort and this is what made it a formidable force to reckon with and which people took pride in joining .

The only thing it did was : If you feel its wrong – stand up and say “This is Wrong” and we're not going to take it lying down. !! That was the underlying philosophy .

The Gang had no leaders . The members staunchly protected their freedom and did what they felt was right .

The bonds between the members grew with time and so did their enemies .

Gang wars !!

We had quite a few of them and one which rocked the campus . It split the batch but it was necessary . Corrupt practices had to be brought to an end . This needed determination and the heart to fight it out .

Kabila did it – and it made sure it stood by what it felt was the right : The Gang couldn't take things lying down after all !!

If you're wondering who these guys were – I'm not disclosing . Two of them are scientists , one in the US and the other in Mumbai . One is Managing the whole of Western India Sales for a company at an age which might surprise you .

The rest are Engineers , some are coding, some are testing and some are just enjoying . - in short they are keeping the Kabila spirit alive (you don't trouble me - I don't trouble you)!!

The Gang lives on and so I just cannot write it off now. One day your morning newspaper might read : Kabila strikes back !!

AND LIFE MOVES ON !!

Life moves on , it moves on even if New York is bombed(the Yankees can excuse me) , it moves on when Gandhi is assassinated and it will continue moving the way it has been .

This is best when experienced in person.

It's a bright , fresh , new day . All days are like that ? Quite debatable – I know . If you are the intellectual type you might say - “ Well Aseem , it depends .... “

I power-up the laptop and even before I can log into the ubiquitous Microsoft Windows XP system I hear from a colleague that one of our Team members has passed away.

A 26 year old – and suicide !!. This guy was doing “great” -this is what his Manager says . Rumors afloat and they spread like wild fire(I've not seen a wild fire but I'm imagining ) . Was it for love ? Stress ?or may be a murder ?

“You know I just met him the other day – he was so happy .”. “ Oh dear I was sipping coffee with him just a while ago “..... People have different ways to sympathize .

Certainly not a perfect start for the day and I'm finding hard how to react and what expressions should float on my face are not governed by me – they come – from where – I am not sure .

The Manager declares : We're not working . But then we Indians never care , we still work . I can find many smiling and cracking jokes and that too very next to the cubicle where this guy used to work .

Life moves on for Indians at a much faster pace for sure.

An email pops up - “We've done fabulous in this quarter and each employee deserves an award “ . And before I could finish reading the email I see the gifts arriving . This is fast , very fast indeed.

Engineers are not supposed to move . We get everything right where we sit ,after all we have to conserve energy for more useful chores.

Faces lit up , the whole work place is buzzing with excitement .

“ What's this ? “ , “Hey did you get the same stuff” , “ John why are you never happy with anything you are given ? “ , “ Can I have one more please “ .......

Somewhere in these gifts our colleague (we lost – hope you remember ) is lost for ever . And life moves on !!

I will do it tomorrow !!

Lets face this – we've all done it and any human who does not say/follow the above is God . (Words of Wisdom !)

I'll study tomorrow -( I wish this worked ) Or I'll play tomorrow (this fails miserably) are the two – I'll do it tomorrow types . The rest of these type are not suitable to be included in this scribbling adventure.

The first type is for kids/people who do not like books , who wanna run away and play around the whole day and come home only to watch TV or have food. Are you of this type ? I am – so sit back and listen.

Kids who fall in this category are lucky . They end up discovering more , lead a healthy lifestyle and excuse me if I say they rock !! .This might be debatable but time and again I find people who have excelled in life and fortunately are the ones who have been of this type.

The “ I'll Play tomorrow “types are people who are “scholar's” . They like books , they “have to” come first in class . “Have to” and “ want to” has a subtle difference. Are you able to figure out ? Did I hear - NO !! You are not this types anyway so why worry !

Kids of these type are the ones an average middle class Indian parent craves for ( not sure what happens around the globe ) My kid comes – first , he is into the I.I.T's and then an M.B.A from I.I.M's and then he settles in the USA . Perfect , flawless life .

If you are of a particular type then trying something from the other basket is quite a challenge.

Imagine I was the “ I'll play tomorrow “ type . I came first( you'r fine if you stand third in class as well , but after that .......) , I got into an Engineering college , I excelled , I got a job , I start working , I go to office at 9 , I come back at 9 , I work and work and the money in my account increase( do not worry even if it is not increasing , its only your neighbour who must feel it does increase – nothing else is important)

When do I do sketching , painting , singing , some cricket , may be football – the weekend is marked for all this . The weekends never come . Do they come for you ?

If you've started feeling – “sounds interesting but I am different ? How can I be like this “May be you are Or may be not !! Think about it ---- “ Tomorrow !'.

Blank

No title comes to my mind and my grey cells refuse to oblige . So I name it “Blank “ .

Each day I get up (of course how long would one sleep , how stupid ) , breakfast , iron my shirt (yeah I'm happy doing all this) , a brisk Yoga indulgence to make me feel I'm doing something good , cleaning my truck (would u like to join ?) , gazing at the morning sky and wanting to fly , and then I suddenly find myself in office .

Cubicles , stressful environment ( you might not agree since you are working in a 'good' company) , a 100 reviews , some useless meetings .

Lunch Break .

I eat at 12:30 you might want to eat at 2 pm , that's more human . So I end up eating alone . Who in India eats his/her lunch at 12 :30 ?

Time to work . There comes an email . Mr John got promoted and then the whole office bombards Mr John with their wishes . Please 'cc' these emails to the whole team inspite of the fact that the email is meant for only Mr John so that we all can share the joy.

Mr. John : I knew you would do it , you were so brilliant from day one . Mr John you are a hero , Mr John when/where is the party , treat , food ............

Mr John is happy and I have no reason to believe that the whole office is much more happy . What are you thinking ?

The in the evening Mr Tom quits . Somebody was murmuring Mr Tom wanted a promotion badly !!

Its almost 5 pm and time for some coffee . What if you don't drink but still you can join the team . Try talking on J2EE even if you don't know a damn . Or how about some emerging trends , software practices Or about the ipods your friend's company gifted to all their employees.

Don't get me wrong . In between this crowd lie a few(very few) who work and enjoy Or may be just work and do not enjoy that much !! So we have some real performers.

Its six . Time to leave but then leaving at six means you are not putting much effort . You might wan't to check some emails . And then at 7 the Manager says : Guys lets have a brisk meeting . Meeting goes on and on and in the end its 9 .

A day has come to an end and I am Blank !!! And I mean it .

The Monster

The story goes like this. Once upon a time there lived in the northern plains of India a small boy who dreamt about bikes and jeep's.( For the ill informed Jeep is a name of a company. )

The child was growing up . He asked his Dad “ can I get a Bike”. His Dad said - “Sure ! Why not , you been a darling and you deserve the best “. The next day I got a cycle !! . (Bike is a kind of cycle but is powered by fuel rather than the rider's muscle)

At 16 the child got back to his Dad and asked him “ All my friends drive a car , can I have one too! “ . I am surely not pasting his replies even if you are deeply interested.

All said and done I'm now planning to upgrade my Petrol Zen to a Diesel Monster. It is a 115 bhp giant always hungry for fuel but I've driven it and I feel its worth the tantrum it throws.

The company calls it Tata Safari Dicor .

I should be taming this beast in a month from now if things fall in place.

There is nothing much to scribble now unless the creature performs. But you all can surely wish me luck :)

If you have time ....

If you have time is about 'time ' and time as we all know is the way we look at 'time ' Some have it in plenty and some are struggling for a few hours of sleep.

A friends marriage and I am supposed to attend it and then 'time' strikes again. If I go my work will suffer , my Boss will be angry , I'll spend money and ....

At times I don't think about 'time' and I did not take much time before I found myself in front of an Airlines Booking office. Tickets done and I flew . Travel takes less time now since we have some “budget” airlines .

Its an experience to travel in one of the low cost airlines. The general look on the face of the Passengers is like : “ You ? How can you travel with me ? This is supposed to be plane and not a Lalu's Train !!”

Met some real interesting characters on board. A Lady with a kid next to my seat and I've been tormented each time I travel, by kids. The first thing which struck me was “ Not again !!”

The plane landed without any major crashes and the warm winds of Norther Plains greeted me . They always drive me nostalgic and I always prefer to keep the AC off and windows open each time I land in my home town for reasons I just explained .

Had to drive to Chandigarh to see my Grandmother who was critically ill . The joy of riding at 4am in the morning and that too at a top speed of 130kms/hr did not stand long when I discovered that Granny needed me more than my Company.

A typical situation . A friend's marriage the same day and a Granny who needed attention. With a sense of guilt and a lie that I had to attend an interview (I know this sucks , I could not think of anything better ) I drove to Saharanpur .It was difficult riding , the thought that what if Granny dies and the last thing I whispered in her ears was a 'lie' just made me quite uncomfortable .

Relatives and Dad assured me that they're taking good care and with the hope that 'good times' would return again I fired the car engines.

I was able to make it for the wedding. Vivek looked dashing as ever and with the wedding gear on his head all eyes were set on him . After all it was his day. For the less informed Vivek has been a friend , an old friend indeed .

The marriage was neat .No dancing in front of the horse and the groom had a tough time convincing his parents that he is better off the horse than on it. A commendable step and kudos to him.

As all Hindu marriages start late and end early morning this too was not an exception . I like chanting the Vedic hymns and I made it a point that I'll not miss the 'pheras' (Merry-go-round the holy flame)

Early morning and it was time to bid adieu but the hosts did not make us feel left out and who else but my friend was with the Guests trying to arrange for beds and tea.

It was 'time' again. Time to bid farewell and drive back home .

And I drove .

With 48 hours of no sleep I started believing that “I am human too” . I missed hitting a truck and a few others which I do not remember . Probably my 'time' had not come and I survived .

Granny is recovering well .

Good Times are surely to return !!

Competition

When I was a kid I dreamt of days when I would be able to buy a Nike shoe without running around my parents , without proving myself to be the best , without any competition.

After fifteen years I stand and look back and I feel times have not changed.

My parents are still there but their position has been occupied by some managers , a company , some peers . I have to continuously prove myself , outperform , be the best and then I can earn my bread.

Men compete in life for money , for cars , for girls(gays can excuse me) , for anything and everything.

Read an article as to why competition is good and after hearing some Delhi Public School kids fighting over the advantages of “healthy “ competition I am convinced that there is no bigger an evil than this.

I've seen good friends falling apart , couples drifting away for a small reason as “my spouse earns more “ , engineers loosing sleep , parents loosing control ,dogs running away and cats jumping in the well .....

Take this : there is nothing as : “healthy competition “. Competition can never be healthy , if its healthy then we would not compete in the first place , we would all share . For example if there is a football match then both teams would play , join hands in the end and say “ we had a good game and both of us emerge victorious “. What ? Who'z gonna come and watch such a match ?

People enjoy watching competition . WWF has been a major success . What is shown is all fake but what appears to the eye is men (and now women too) competing hard to prove their supremacy .

At times I wonder why was this planet created. Its fine if it got anyway but when humans and animals joined competition started . Food , sex ,land .... and you name it and we'll compete for it .

When humans got tired from the same monotonous competition , we started playing football and cricket and believe me every year many die fighting for their heroes .

Competition gives rise to perfection , with perfection we'll have a better planet , better this and better that and .....everything would be better !! You better believe it .

What would happen if you have more cars , better cars , beautiful cars ,isn't it all about perception . Somebody who like choppers (count me in ) would never appreciate a Ferrari anyway.

Many in my land dream to migrate to greener pastures , easy food , easy money and “less competition “ . Hmm this is interesting now – Competing hard for less competition in the end !!

I dream of days when kids would buy a Nike shoe without proving themselves , where girlfriends won't crib if you have a small car , where you won't have to out perform , where you can play and loose and still feel a winner , where ..

My Manager is here and guess what is he asking ?

“Mr Rawat , time for your performance review !! “

Cycle Till Death

Cycle till Death ( I've taken this title after inspiration from Abhinay)

The title says it all. Sound's like “ Death by Chocolate “ :) , no ?

Cycling is good ? Not sure ? Then keep reading . On one Sunday morning a “bunch” of guys and a girl went on a cycling trip with their Manager .

After an hour of bumpy ride we made it to Savandurga . Everybody grabbed a cycle and after some test runs it seemed that it should be easy . Curious Villagers and more importantly the Sun God came out to greet us.

So far so good .

As the Sun climbed it made cycling ......... But there is no short cut to enjoyment , one must cycle :) . I can hear some grumbling noises !! You all agree ?

“ Go back !! “ , “ Who'z idea was that ? “ and when one starts hearing all this its better to cycle fast and be ahead . Makes sense right ? .

Savandurga is famous not for cycling but for rock climbing and a water reservoir . A so called cycling trail exists around the reservoir but this road is shared by goats , cows , buses , tractors and humans .

The Karnataka Government has made sure that you feel that all roads in the state are same . Nobody should feel bad .

The cycling tour is organized by BSA cycles , they promise a lot of stuff but you'll surely get a guide and a cycle along with a 200 ml water bottle.

Cycle , stop , smile , look at the sun , look down , take some snaps , gulp some water , start again. This is the story in short.

Slowly and steadily we all made it . The stretch around the lake was the best and I'm sure many would agree :) At least once we all need to agree ?

A little rest and back into the Taxi . The Taxi hopped and jumped and roared and brought us back to Bangalore .

Food is life and that too after cycling its important and if your Manager invites you – never say “no “ !!

Guys how does “ River Rafting till Death “ sound ? :)

YOU

You are born , you are named , the world starts calling you with that name ( I must wish you Happy Birthday !), you start growing , parents pamper you , you'r expected to come first , may be second if your parents are kind enough , if you fail you'r doomed , you are a good boy , you stay at home you get good marks , you compete and clear an entrance exam you meet girls , but thats not what you'r supposed to do in College , study and come first , get a job and then life begins !!

You boast around for a six digit salary job (excuse me if its seven).Your parents are on cloud nine , your Dad is happy , you have bought fame and glory to your family (May God bless you !!).You feel your hard work is over and now life is fun.

The third day you are given an assignment . Manager says you need to perform for bonus , you slog even on weekends .(Ha ha I am laughing, I know its bad )

Sex is on your mind but just then your parents call up and your marriage is fixed , you get married . Now its time to get happy.

Happiness is short lived since your peer has got promoted and he owns a car now. You have to work and work and on a Sunday you discover you have many Grey hair and your wife informs you that you are getting bald as well.

Kids come and now you are expected to be a good father.

You get promoted and not at 35 you appear in 50's. You have a penthouse and you hear that all Managers are supposed to play Golf.

Golf is a good game , you search for holes .(Its difficult to find many) Somebody would carry your luggage , you just move your stick , lucky if you get it the first time otherwise keep trying !!

You feel you have added a lot of value to your family , your bank balance and more importantly to the society and you should be awarded . You dont receive an Award(How sad ).

You are 60 now and you have no hair(you did nothing when you had some ,so relax) .

You die one day and all your property ??

You lived your life dear !!

Tiger Tiger Burning Bright !

Two days of consecutive holidays and it is a perfect setting for a jungle trip. I was contemplating a trip to Nagarhole for quite some time and two holidays in a row provided the much needed kick.

Nagarhole National Park is now officially known as Rajiv Gandhi National Park but as many names just don't become favorites the park is still popular as the Nagarhole Park. Its one of the better kept Wild Life Reserves in India and boasts of the highest concentration of Tigers , Leopards and Wild Dogs.

I generally like to start early and even after trying my best I could leave only by 5:30am in my Zen . The isolated roads made me fire the engine full speed and with speed comes death. Well I stopped much short only to be hit my a speed breaker. That made the Zen sweat and I ended up damaging something which I'm still not sure. A buzzing sound greets the driver each time the first gear is applied. A lesson to learn - a car is not a jeep.

A speed breaker was not going to spoil the trip - this is what I told myself and I decide to continue. The black beauty responded well to my trust and it took us just over two hours to cover some 120 kms on the Bangalore - Mysore Highway. Hard music and speed just thrills !!

Nagarhole is another 45 kms from Mysore. We made our way steadily and once the six lane highway ended we were greeted by pot-hole ridden roads. The car never complained and we were in the jungle by 11 am. Thick growth of wild grass and bamboo along the roads made us believe that we were entering a forest.

The serenity and calmness of that place forced me to extend my trip by a day and I decided to check out a hotel. Felt lucky to discover that an accommodation in the form of a tent house was available .

After a heavy lunch -a real heavy one – it was time for the jungle safari.

The first sighting was a Serpent Eagle. Next we spotted dears and they were plenty - a sign that the predators have ample food available. Caught a glimpse of the giant Malabar squirrel courtesy the Mahindra jeep. Its a tough vehicle but certainly not suited for spotting wild life. The engine noise is deafening.

The next on the menu were wild dogs who had reached the brink of extinction during colonial times. Credit to forests like Nagarhole , their numbers are bouncing back . We climbed a "Machan" and were thrilled to site a "Gaur" – the Indian Bison , a wild pig and some Sambhars.

A few animals accompanied us in the jeep. They talked about their salaries , their Managers and how their children outclassed their peers .Their wives were even more fussy. They wanted to see the tiger and the guide had a tough time explaining that the king of the jungle cannot be dictated to pose for them.

A four hours safari was nearing its end and the Tiger remained elusive.

Hot tea served with pakodas do provide solace after a tiring day. It was time to grab a seat - a 30 minutes documentary film on the Nagarhole National Park was very enriching.

Dinner was served late much to my annoyance but it seemed I was the odd man out . Everybody seemed patient with the idea of a late dinner. I ate as if I had never eaten and after this feeding frenzy it was time for bed. A night in a tent and that also in a jungle - its just too perfect if the moon shines bright overhead.

I had a comfortable sleep and the next morning it was time for a short safari -not again with the same sick crowd. We had better companions this time and we felt blessed to site a herd of wild elephants. An elephant training camp was not to be missed. We met an elephant who had recently created havoc by killing eight people but his luck ran out and the beast was finally caught and locked in a cage.

Food is prepared for these giants in vessels which are no less amazing. Tribal have been been recruited as care takers and forest guards . A good way of keeping everybody happy.

It was time to leave but not before a heavy breakfast and that too its silly to miss one if the hotel provides a complimentary one.

We decided to visit a Tibetan Monastery which was around 40 kms from Nagarhole. The drive was good and the country side was even more enchanting. We entered Coorg and accidentaly I sighted a board which read "Abbi fall- 45kms".

The next place we stopped was Abbi Falls - 80 kms from Nagarhole. Its an awesome place , coffee and pepper plantations greet travelers and with mountains around you one is forced to admit - its heaven.

As with all Falls - they are haunted by travelers who like to donate plastic and similar non degradable waste. Its a way of expressing our feelings and a majority of Indians enjoy littering around.

It was time to pack up and head home. Black clouds are a sign of rain and who's stopping them . It started to rain and it rained and rained and it flooded the roads and jammed the traffic . It took twice the time to drop down from the hills .

After a few wrong turns we located the "Golden Temple" - hundreds of Tibetan monks and visitors flock the place. Tibetans have done justice to the place of worship . It was clean - real clean . Gigantic statues of Buddha and other Guru's were breathtaking.

The rain continued .

Heading home was high on priority and the Zen was hurt but still not out. Pot-hole ridden roads get dangerous when it rains. Luckily we covered a major part of the journey before sunset. Reached home around 10 pm and it was still raining !!

I started with "Tiger Tiger Burning Bright !" and I guess its best to end with this nursery rhyme- “Rain rain go away,
Come again another day.
Little Johnny wants to play”

A Trip To Heaven !

"Heaven" - its -" A condition or place of great happiness, delight, or pleasure" ,this is what the online search on www.Dictionary.com gives when supplied with the word "Heaven".

India is a developing country !! What is a developing country ? There are two answers -a political & the other technical. The technical first - any country where its peasants are still fighting for three meals a day, clean drinking water & where educations is not for all - I'm sure this suffices. The Political one now- any country which is not the part of G-4(One minus G-5 -China is also a developing nation,it brings lots of solace to Indians to see China struggling with us)is a developing country !! You might disagree , good if you don't.

There is no clear demarcation as to which country is a developing country & which is not .(There is even a worse category -the third world countries- I'll not talk about them . Are they worth talking ? )One can always argue that we all want to develop in some form or the other , we want more money , better cars , more salaries , more , more , more - so I'm sure there is no
scope left in the argument & we all agree that we wanna develop !! Any non takers ?

An Indian is a complex creature - with English as the second language we all compete to prove that its "kind-off" our first language. It's a social status to converse in English - the fluency is all that matters - talk crap - who cares !!

The United States Of America is like the "Promised Land" to many in the Developing & Third World countries . Many are born with that aim - they struggle - a few lucky ones make it -the rest die talking English. America is like a Heaven - why ? You better don't ask !!

A trip to the Heaven is an account of the experiences I had while obtaining the ticket to America.

The ticket is costly & since money is a rare commodity with me the only way I could leave my land was on a free ticket. The best way to obtain a free ticket is to join a software company. The next step after joining a software company is a to pretend that you've got fed up of the system & place & want a break . If the manager buys your argument (who cares if he doesn't) you might just find yourself in the Visa Consulate.

The American Visa Consulate is a fortress - lot of crooks can be figured outside the strong walls - don't be surprised if somebody approaches you any whispers " America janna hai kya ? "(Wanna go to America ?).

One needs to book a slot on the web - I had to report at 11 am. "Dress up well - wear a tie , take a good file cover ..." this is what my manager told me - I must admit I never wore a tie even while giving interviews (barring the first one).A serpentine queue greets everybody who enters. You'll find actors , students , engineers , workers all standing in the same queue , this never happens in India otherwise. The first sign that America is a a different land.

After spending some hours outside & still trying to keep tidy I managed to reach the door. The door opens - metal detectors & security guards frisk all . Everybody should carry two cheques - one of them is deposited at the first counter which also provides a token. Keep the second cheque with you & pray that its also accepted.Wait ! its not all that easy . Quite a number are struggling to fill the forms . A Sardarji from Punjab( All Sardars are from Punjab) is struggling to pronounce his name - he is too old & his voice breaks.

The token bears a number - read it. Stand in the queue whose window bears the number. All the marksheets , address proof , company details , photographs have to be submitted here. A number is given & we are then directed to a big hall. A hall where thousands wait . Many are sitting on the floor.

One needs to keep his/her ears open to locate the call. The call is sounded by an Indian who's pretending to be an American. Oh ! I hear my number. What another queue ? Yes ! the call was for another queue . After standing for another three hours I found that I was the next man.

There are many parallel queues , each queue leads to a window ,each window has an American Or somebody who's not an Indian is sitting. He stares at you , questions you , looks at your file & beware - don't go until you are called .

Many were enthusiastic enough to break the code & were herded back by the security guards.

Hey why is the man crying ? His visa is rejected . Yes I saw many sad faces , drooping shoulders , pleading parents who wanted to visit their children , folded hands ....

"Mr Rawat why do you wan't to go ?"

"Sir , I'm on a business trip to buy servers for my company in India "

" Mr Rawat what if you don't come back ?"

"Believe me Sir I'll come back !!"

"Are you married ?"

" No ! "

After the question and answer session was over I was asked to deposit the second cheque - a sign of acceptance.

Lies , lies & more lies . After all this lies I was successful, who cares. I've the ticket to fly now - to go to heaven .

A trip to Heaven is not easy , its full of hardships & hardships would be many. Isn't this what the saints have been saying for long . Yes they were right ,indeed they were !!

A Trip To Saharanpur

I had the opportunity to have a closer look at a town in Northern India this summer. Saharanpur is a small town situated at a distance of around 180 kms from Delhi. Its a town famous for its awe striking wood carving craftsmanship, ITC paper mill , its fondness for crime ,mangoes , sugarcane ,language & certainly many more things which I am ignoring safely.
The language is rough & outsiders have a hard time adjusting. The climate is hot but a few of my close friends always disagree on this. I'll leave it to the readers good judgment.

I flew to Delhi & decided to board a bus to Saharanpur .I was warned against it by a friend but I decided to give it a try. The distance of 180 kms was covered in four & a half hours . The warm air was making the distance longer . But the flora & fauna around was something which I miss down south. Was surprised to find that at each halt a group of volunteers boarded the bus & were administering polio drops with a lot of vigour. It might be normal in well fed nations but a phenomenon like this in
a developing nation like ours does raise eyebrows.

The dust around reminded me of my village & I was happy to let it stick on my face .I turned brown by the time I left the bus. I reached the town at around 4pm . The heat was there to welcome me but the joy of meeting my old friend Vivek was making me forget the hostile climate.
Vivek's elder brother was getting married & marriage in India are always celebrated with a lot of vigour . The canopy outside helped me recognize his house. Vivek was there smiling , working hard & trying his level best to hide the depleting energy levels in his body with his sharp smile.
Friends to me have always been precious , they come very high on priority & I feel I've been a lucky man to have quite few of this dying race.
Cold water from the hand pump provided me solace from the parching heat , a bath just made my day. Vivek's father is a doctor cum farmer.Its a rare combination but this certainly adds to his enigmatic personality. I tried hard convincing my friend to involve me in some activity but since its almost a sin to make a visitor work he didn't agree.
Marriage means a lot of commotion , children running around , scores of relatives need special attention , food & may more things need to be administered at all times.
The next day was more friendlier, two of my other friends arrived . We were meeting after two years & the growing age had not effecton our memories. We were back in the old days where running on the football field was the order of the day. Dinner at seven was a ritual with our group. “Roti”(Indian bread) with a lot of “ghee” was something we all enjoyed.

The marriage was a simple affair .The food was good & after a long time I had loads of icecream. There were villagers (mostly farmers). Their khadi clothes & a big smile on their face proved that money cannot buy you everything in life .They were all there to bless their friends son , a friend who had left the village a long time ago but since bonds are for ever they were all there to share his happiness .
The groom & the bride dazzled in their clothes .The ceremony got over at around 2 am. (I generally sleep at 9:30 pm ). Ravi , Vivek & myself decide to keep awake & a little persuasion & coaxing made Pankaj join the group. We talked & laughed , remembering the old days is the best thing one can do at times. Hot tea which had all milk & no water & prepared by Vivek's father just made our day.

We greeted the morning sun with a long brisk walk .
Three days of fun & frolic came to an end & it was time to leave. A big packet of sweets was tied to me . We were given a royal farewell & everybody including the groom was out there waving his hand.
Friends are rare & meeting them has become rarer. I wanted to stay much longer for I knew it would be a many more months probably years before I meet them again. Frosts poem always come handy at times “ The woods are lovely dark & deep but I have promises to keep & miles to go ...”

Ravi & I took a train back to Delhi. I discovered that I had been pick pocketed. Had lost all the money in my pocket .Keeping the wallet away from me helps at times & that's the precise reason I lost a part of my belongings. I had kept a few hundreds in my front pocket & had advised the same to Ravi & he cheerfully ignored my advice. The wallet rested peacefully in my bag & I was unable to decide as to whether I should rejoice Or appear gloomy.

Ravi helped me with two twenty rupee notes & that helped me reach my village. The story has a lot more still , keep hanging.

Parents greeted me with a smile as usual & my Mother made it a point to fill half of my plate with ghee .
It was time to leave for Banglore. I left almost two hours before the departure but a jam ensured that I miss my flight. Yes,I missed my flight & wanted to scratch a pole , pull my hair & shout but all this would have had added to my woes.
Wanted to buy a ticket for the next flight but there were no empty seats.

I sat down on a railing near the booking counters , sipped water , dazed the skies & tried again. A cancellation from a passenger made my day. Re-booked my tickets & flew back to Bangalore.

The trip made my wallet poorer by almost twenty thousand bucks but the joy of meeting old friends just didn't allow the sadness to take over me. Friends are precious & all precious things are costly. Thats the way I look at it & that the way its always gonna be till the date I roam the lands.

A trip to Saharanpur needs to end before I miss by office bus.

Empty seats !

Wildlife has always lured me for ages(I am not too old). A visit to California made my day,I returned back with a Canon SLR camera .I must admint that I was quite satisfied with my semi automatic Yashica camera which accompanied me under water , on the hills , it braved the deserts along with me until many of my close friends started teasing me/it , I still feel nostalgic about it .It costed me only 800 Indian rupees (Its American cousin is a wooping 28000).

With the camera in my hand I was fully loaded to enter the jungles. Shimsa, M.M Hills (a Veerapan stronghold, hmm for the ill informed Veeerapan was a dreaded sandalwood smuggler ). Karnataka Toursim Development Corporation conducts various tours around the year. This one was a two day trip starting Saturday morning .

Spending Friday in office was kind of difficult. I was dreaming about the serene landscapes of the western Ghats, the deer running amock , the
peacocks were calling me loud & clear !!

Just about the same week Bangalore was painted with posters of Sharukh & company who were landing in the city for a show. Bizarre stories were
there all over the press. A woman was willing to fish 45000 rupees to meet Sharukh back stage. A boy came down all over from Hyderabad to catch a glimse of is favourite star.

Spending 50000 rupees to see some painted faces sounds crazy for me but I feel others would have wondered as to how I could spend a thousand to see deer running around. Hmm lets leave this for the intelligent to decide .

It was five in the evening & I was all set to leave. A phone call spoilt my day. " The trip is cancelled !!" was the blunt message. " Why ? " I shot back. " Only two seats have been booked, we cannot ply an empty luxury bus."

A few painted faces had won the hearts of many. The animals & birds had lost in a big way. May be they need to hire a marketing guru Or may be
they need to dab some lakme stuff on their face. Who knows !!
For me its a long wait till the seats fill up !!

What a wasted life !

Gaurav (I've not changed the name), clumsy, shabbily dressed lad many years senior to me.His dressing sense was/is weird .

He was(he'z alive but I'm still using 'was', patience) a child prodigy , have heard some real weird stories about him. He was working on a mathematical problem one night, slept without breaking it , woke up at two pm again & cracked it. He later recounted that Goddess Saraswati came in his dreams & helped him have a bite at the problem. I'm sure you'll agree that dreaming about Saraswati is cool but girls do top the chart , any boy's around who say NO ?

His adventures continued , he solved XII standard mathematics problems when he was in class IV, hmm thats too much. He was sure to get into the IIT's & he didn't disappoint his fans . He scored an incredible all India rank(It was somewhere in the eighty's). Got into IIT-Kanpur & enrolled in the Computer Science branch.

I at this junction lost contact with him but my Dad didn't allow me to forget him. "Look at youself, you $#@%! & see Gaurav , you'r a useless creature on earth :( ".Heard he consumed too much liquor there & started loosing his enigma.
After completing his Engineering he joined a Software Company in Ghaziabad(a town near Delhi). He worked there for some time & since it was not Maths he left it & came back home.

Then suddenly we heard that he was writing the India Administrative Service exam, he didn't disappoint his fans again & got through in the first attempt . This time though he landed up with a rank that could pull him only to the Custom's department. He had again chosen Mathematics as one of his subjects. My Dad was no less happy & his craving grew for sons who could become an I.A.S officer.

Close sources later revealed that he wrote the exam again & scored a similar rank much to his/family/good/bad wishers disappointment. He was aiming for the bulls eye, but then he accepted his fate & now I hear he's an officer with the customs department. The average salary is not more than twenty thousand per month but who the hell wants that. The prime attraction is the 'power' that come along, the servants , the pristine white ambassador car with a red light on top of it , the black money , the ... , so little for a guy who deserved much more.

A wasted life which is now poised to be soaked in the corrupt bureaucracy , the babus .. . Mathematics his passion is seen no where(may be a little comes in handy when we count currency).Another mathematician goes awry, never to be heard of again . Not sure if it was his decision Or his parents Or .. but the scientific community did loose a gem.

I'm no Chomsky to propose some grammar & my talent shies away when I look up to him but my heart still feels that he would have been much better if he was to join some research lab or anything that would have given him a bed to develop his mathematical skills so rare to be found. May be he'll sue me for defaming him, but I'm sure I'll muster courage & speak out" What a wasted life !!".

Grey Hairs !

Grey Hairs !!

The plural of hair is hair , thats what we have been taught in school . But what if one's black hair start to turn grey at a tender age ? One is forced to express his discontent by using the word ' hairs' . It might not provide solace to many but a few would surely like to say "if my/our hair do not stop turning grey I/we would insult hair by calling them with different derogatory names !!"

Many surveys (&even without them) have revealed stunning facts. Many children(both sexes) in the cities have grey ' hairs ' even before reaching an age of fifteenOn the contrary children in the rural areas enjoy black hair for a much longer life span.

The greying of hair has been attributed to eating habits , air & water pollution ,genetics to name a few. One has no control over genetics except to fight his/her parents . Grrrrrrrrrrr!! ,eating habits can be monitored & similarly air & water pollution,but then I'm feeling that none of us appreciate this & the reader has started grumbling " Its my life & stop playing a mother !" :( :(

The better ways :

1. Color your 'hairs' , avoid black since if you have to use a dye why not use pink & green Or blue.

This would give a jazzy look & would hide grey 'hairs'

2. Try an 'Andrae Aggase', to be precise keeping no hair is both economical &a viable solution . We save on oil , shampoo and many similar cosmetics. Never the less a thousand heads turn to see a bald head moving.

I have boasted of lush black hair but a recent discovery shattered my myth. Grey 'hairs' have grown like unwanted weeds on my head & they seem to grow with each day. Another example that happiness is short lived.

The greying of hair for software engineers can be compared with the rings of a tree by which one can predict its age. Each grey hair has a story . A 'build fail 'Or 'No salary hike' Or ' Girlfriend who ran away' Or 'age' Or ...................

No matter what the reason be the 'grey hairs' have invaded our heads . Lets fight the menace together by calling them ' grey hairsssssssssssssssssss !!'

An Autobiography !

An Autobiography
Or
The Story Of My Experiments With Truth
M.K Gandhi


'How can one steal this, its too much!",well I apologize for using this as a title for my article(and no apology to those who are scratching their head to discover as to what crap is going on.
I'm sure no body would sue me for plagiarism.

Reading & writing is my hobby& to keep up to others expectations I try reading what ever comes across. This way one can surely boast to be an intellectual , any buyers ?
"The Story Of My Experiments With Truth" is a unique autobiography in itself. It takes a lot of guts to admit ones shortcomings.

Every book/story has a lesson to derive from & it took me no time(how intelligent) to find out that the moral to learn was : truthfulness !!

And here I was/am ready to stand for values & nothing less but truth.I was bubbling with enthusiasm & wanted to portray at the slightest of provocation as to how strongly I would imbibe by the 'learnings' .

My friend called up the same day(the day I finished the book), he wanted me to come down to his house for a gathering.I had no better excuse than this :'I am expecting a relative today'.

The episode filled me with compunction, I had spoken a lie , the truth being that I wanted to spend time in my own sweet way . Nothing too bad happened but it did teach me that how onerous it is to be truthful always .

After each episode I convince myself that all my lies were 'small'(lies can be classified into small, big, bigger, huge,gigantic,monstrous,..) & that I had not harmed anyone.

Not sure if my 'lies' have surpassed my 'truths' but every lie does make me feel as if Gandhi standing and saying "Common buddy ! their is a long - long way to go before you write something like "The Story Of My Experiments With Truth !".

Aseem Rawat.